Deeksha & A Lifetime Opportunity

Punching the lines sitting at Chancery Hotel in a workshop.

Come July 4th, Saturday, at Seva Sadan in Malleshwara, it would be a milestone in Deeksha's life in Dance. There is a dance festival being organized by one of the most prestigious organization in music and dance, Ananya, on 4th July. They happened to get in touch with Vyjayanthi Kashi, Deeksha's Guru and asked her to suggest her student's name who can perform in this festival. Vyjayanthi suggested Deeksha's name and I have already sent Deeksha's profile and photos to Ananya. So, she will be performing Kuchipudi classical dance on 4th July. She will have 30 minutes to exhibit her talent. This is her first solo performance ever and myself and Bhargavi are bit tensed up as there is a lot of expectation from her teacher and also the RASIKAs of dance from her since she is Vyjayanthi's desciple. But Vyjanathi is confident about Deeksha and assured us that Deeksha will be able perform to people's expectation. Deeksha has a long way to go.

Metro Rail - The Killers

During my NGO days, there was one thing which I questioned in all my discussions, be it on the stage or off the stage. What is the definition of development? If we destroy something that is natural and create something on our own, is that development? If we feel that we have taken control of nature by creating clones of animals, hybrid seeds, that is development? If we just remove the habitat and create a super structure like ports, harbors, hotels, resorts, factories, mines, is that a development? So far, I have not got a convincing answer. But heart of heart, I know that all these are not development, but destructions.

One more to add to the list is the Metro in Bangalore. Metro has decided to cut few of the Eucalyptus trees in Lalbagh. By the way, is this a development? More specifically, is it a people-focussed development? Development for whom? What the hell the metro rail team who are planning to kill the trees are thinking of themselves, they are god-send from heaven? They are giving a reason that they are cutting Eucalyptus tree and not any other tree. What sort of a justification is that. Already, the metro has eaten up lot of trees across Bangalore. If you want to see the impact, come to Vijayanagar. Me, having lived in that area for 25 years, know how Vijayanagar was and how it is now. What kind of bullshit planning near lalbagh they are having which has zig-zag alignment with four 90 degree turns in the 4 kilometre stretch which is the most disastrous design. what the hell Government is doing? Is there a clear agreement between Metro Rail and Goverment of Karnataka?

Yes. It is true that the Eucalyptus trees could be cut without the permission from the Tree Officer as per Karnataka Preservation of Tree Act. If this is the argument, they are putting across, fellows, please note that this applicable for those eucalyptus trees which are there outside the protected areas like Lalbagh which legally has the status of a national park. Now, the trees which are targeted for killing are inside the lalbagh are within the protected area. So, why are the goverment machinaries violating the law made by the govement? Is the law applicable only for the common people like you and me? Why are we so silent on all these? Is this the responsibility of only some groups like Hasiru-Usiru? When are we going to be awake?

Let us protest on this. Do log in to http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/savelalbaghfrommetro/index.html
Sign the petition and express your solidarity for this. SAVE THE EARTH. SAVE BANGALORE. SAVE LALBAGH

The Super Star & A Human Being

Image Courtesy : Veersh - Chitraloka.com
I am quite emotional about his performances, about his nature. I had opportunities to sit with him and have lunch 3 times !!! That's something, which I treasure in my life

It was around 1992 - The dubbing for the film Jeevana Chaitra was on at Chamundeshwari Studios on Cunningham Road. I was doing my Diploma in Computer Application and I happen to have Appu (people call him Puneeth Rajkumar) as my classmate and also project partner in the course. He took me to the studio. Entered the studio and saw "him" there !!! I almost felt unconcious. He was the person whom I was seeing on screen since my child hood and we used to prepare stars outside the theatre to get free tickets for the first day first show of his films. We used to sleep on the floor in front of the ticket counters as, usually the tickets for his films were sold at 3 AM in the morning. The moment he comes on screen, we used just run up to the screen and touch his image and feel as if we have touched the GOD. We used to imitate his dressing and always used to think ourselves as "him". So childish.. But that's the level of hysteria at which we were.

With all these history, how do you expect me to react? I just fell at his feet. I can never forget his reaction. "you people are educated. You should not touch my feet as I am not educated" (he was just 3rd standard passout. Again I get this question in my mind. What is the meaning of being "educated"??).

That was Rajkumar, the super star and the great human being. After that episode, I was there at Chamundeshwari Studios for 3 days watching himdoing the dubbing for the "Jeevana Chaitra".

All the days, I was there with him sharing the lunch table. He was very fond of Appu's friends and invited us home. We went to his home and it was same warmth. Me, being a chatter box among my friends circle when it comes to the topic about him, was in a state of shock and speechless at the kind of warmth I was getting at his home. I did not know what to talk to him. I wanted to tell him so many things.. but did not know how to tell him. I wanted to sing so many of his songs which I used to sing on various occassions, but I forgot everything. It was as if I was on the clouds.

He always insisted that we fellows should lead a healthy life, both mentally and physically. He always complained that we don't eat properly and we waste a lot of food. It was treat watching him eat. He never used to waste even a grain of rice on his plate. He had high respect for the food and did not like anyone wasting the food.

There could be many actors in this industry, but none can even dream to come closer to him. It's not possible. Today is his birthday, it's just another nostalgic moment for me remembering that great super star and a human being.

Elections - A Relook

Today, it's two topics which are in my mind.

Elections - Extremely surprising and dissappointing that in Bangalore there was only 51% voting done, while Bangalore South was around 50% and Bangalore North is around 45%. Bangalore South seems to be "the" location for most "educated" "learned" people and the candidates were also equally good.. Still, what's happeing? c'mon.. it's easier to blame the politicians, system, blah.. blah.... But the matter of fact is that people want to live with that particular moment. They get a long weekend and want to go out.. This is our so called democratic bent of mind. Freedom of expression (or is it freedom of expressions for not expressing anything ??? ) Sad state of affairs.. Do people understand that how much of difference those 50 - 60% votes make ?. No jaagore, no achche sachche.. koooch nahin. People, particularly the younger generation are not interested in this. It's very evident.

One of the young fellows (must be around 28 - 30) came to the polling booth where I casted my vote along with his friends and the moment he saw there was a queue, he just shouted to his friends "wav !!, let us go..." there was a jubiliation in his face. When the police constable asked him to stand in the queue, he said "who is going to stand in this queue and vote?.. .huh" and just walked out. Since I was almost inside the polling booth, I could not get in touch with him. I felt like slapping him (I believe, it is undemocratic !!!) and told him the value of his vote.

I remember reading a statement from one of politicians "people don't cast their vote, they vote their caste". What a sad thing? And we are here clapping for Premjis and Narayan Murthys for their speaches on how bad the roads were. What have we done? Sorry. I am not expecting any response for this question but I prefer everyone one of us introspect within ourselves on this.

Just open the car window glass , throw out the kurkure empty packet and pull up the glass. Such insensitive bastards are there in our society. We can't control our nature calls and just stop wherever we want as if the entire world is a urinal. We just overtake someone and have one great sadistic smile. We crib that people don't care for their cities and outsiders have spoilt the city. We, the bangaloreans, how much we have kept our own spaces clean? With all these things, we keep cribbing out at politicians, systems, etc, etc. Over and above these things, we don't vote. Are we heading towards a disaster ????

I feel that even for the duties like elections, sensus, government should start taking in people from IT industry who feel that they always need to be in Ivory Tower. We should be part of the community to do sensus and conduct elections. Not sure how many people give one dirty look at me if I say this. But I don't care. I am ready for these kind of duties which is good for the nation.

If, so called "well educated" (not sure what is the meaning of "educated". Is it just scoring high marks in their academics and secure gold medals?) behave like this, it is quite possible for us to expect that people in the rural area will be even worst. But the fact is that Bangalore Rural voting is at a whopping 61%. Do we need more proof???

Impressions & Expressions - Theatre

This was the article which I wrote for my company's intranet magazine sometime in 2007.

Just thought of reproducing it here....

Theatre…. Plays, scripts, lighting, makeup, costumes, props, and to top it all the sheer excitement of being on stage in front of a live audience!!

It is almost 18 years since I have been sucked into the black hole called theatre. I have no idea how to come out and have no intention of coming out either!!

The Indian theatre scenario has been subtle in the last few years. In spite of this, most of the theatre folks, no matter how busy they are with television soap operas and cinemas, make sure that they come on stage once a month and really get into the act!

I am delighted to belong to the theatre community, which is known for its eccentricities. In my experience of being part of Kannada theatre over the last 18 years, I have seen many ups and downs.

My venture into theatre was not sudden; it began in school. I started my theatre experiments with the street theatre as a singer. It was a strange experience as there was no stage, no make up, or lights and we performed amidst the public. Our goal was “Theatre for a cause”. We always believed and still believe that theatre is more for a social cause than entertainment.

There have been days when we went without food or shared meals but still kept moving from village to village. The people from the villages encouraged us to perform in numerous ways. In exchange for our street theatre performances, they performed their folk art, which we tried to use in our plays. In one of the plays we used martial arts like Kalaripayattu from Kerala, Thaang Tha from Manipur, and the dance form Sarpankali from Kerala.

Traveling to villages, singing and acting on the streets, and trying to create awareness on social issues like cancer, alcohol addiction, superstitions, through the street plays, have been memorable moments and I've had the satisfaction of reaching out to people on various occasions with success.

I then moved on to proscenium theatre, that is theatre on stage. The performances challenge your creativity within restricted limits.

I had the chance to be part of a workshop conducted by Utpal Dutt, an unforgettable name, whose brilliance showed in his expressions and creative genius. Utpal was tough to work with and demanded the best!

On the other hand, I found it easy to work with Shankar Nag on a his production “Nagamandala”, which was written by Girish Karnad. Our rehearsals at his farmhouse often began at 10 p.m. and lasted till 2 a.m. And by 4:30 a.m., Shankar was ready for his shooting schedules. A man with huge reserves of energy and a super star, yet very down to earth. This is what theatre teaches you-- have your foot firm on the ground and never allow it to float around! And the perfect example of Shankar Nag's humility was evident when he chose to return from Calcutta with us by train in a second class compartment. A man with unmatched talent, very few know that he was an excellent singer as well.

Nagabharana, the man who has won many national and international awards for his films, is one more person I remember fondly. Of course, I am still a singer with his theatre group, BENAKA. He is brilliant at visual conceptualizations and can go to any extremes to bring those visuals to reality. It is wonderful to share the stage with him.

This article will not be complete if I do not mention Rangashankara, a dedicated theatre space for Bangaloreans created by the collective genius minds of Girish Karnad, MS Sathyu, and Arundhathi Nag based on the lines of Prithvi Theatre in Mumbai, which led by Shashi Kapoor and his daughter Sanjana Kapoor. I have participated in about 30 shows in Rangashankara and each time I am on stage, it has been a hair rising experience for me! I still get cold feet.

I had two dreams of which one is realized and another will never be.

The first one was to watch Utpal Dutt on stage, which never happened and he is no more with us. So, this will remain unfulfilled.
The second one was to watch Amol Palekar on stage, which I did during one of the plays in Mumbai.

I still dream of working with people like Nasiruddin Shah, Nana Patekar, Anang Desai, Lillette Dubey, and many more.

Please......

Not sure what's happening !!!! I do not have any readers for my blog and I am not seeing any comments from my friends either...

Hello, fellows !!!! Please read my blog get bogged down and put your comments before you run off from my blog shouting "mujhe ramesh se bachao......... "

Bhagwan ke naam pe comments de de baba !!! Bhagwan aap ko bhala karega aur achche chees dega..

Thodi si tho lift Kara De

Just recollecting what Adnan Sami had sung when he was hefty fellow !!!
We are all same... Hum panchi ek dhaal ke..... Greedy stupid fellows, running behind money.. Money is somewhere theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere... and we are running here...

Teri oonchi shaan hai maula
Meri arzi maan le maula
Tu hai sab kuch jaanne waala
Main hoon tera maanne waala
Mujhko bhi to lift kara de
Thodi si to lift kara

Teri oonchi shaan hai maula
Meri arzi maan le maula
Tu hai sab kuch jaanne waala
Main hoon tera maanne waala
Bangla motor car dila de
Ek nahin do chaar dila de
Mujhko aeroplane dila de
Duniya bhar ki sair kara de
Kaise kaison ko diya hai
Aise vaison ko diya hai
Mujhko bhi to lift kara de
Thodi si to lift kara de

Dollar de ya pound de de
Dollar de ya pound de de
cash de de, check na de
Noton ki barsaat kar de
Koi chhapad phaad le maula
Apni jaibain jaad le maula
Ab to mujhko maal de de
Aur na ab dhaal de de
Mujhko bhi to lift kara de
Thodi si to lift kara de

Sona de ya chaandi de de
Heere de de moti de de
Noton ki barsaat kar de
Tu ne khud hi to kaha hai
Deta hoon jo maangta hai
Kab se banda maang raha hai
Kab se banda line mein khada hai
Mujhko bhi to lift kara de
Thodi si to lift karade

What happened ?? - A flashback

Saturday - Total relaxed time at home. Bhargavi and Deeksha are back home with Bhargavi as usual having an eagle's eye on how her husband has maintained their den... Studies, studies and studies.. not sure how much I am studying and what is that I am understanding. I will not know that even after I phewk all those answers in the exam.

Sunday - A sumptuous lunch at a cousin's place. Very typical religious food (?). Enjoyed it. Lazed out at another cousin's house watching IPL + Gemini TV + Zee TV + ETV +.......... the remote was glued to my fingers...

Evening was quite special to me. One of my friend's friend completed successful 25 years of his married life and there was a celebration. He wanted to celebrate in the form of an evening with friends and family and old Kannada film music. I was one of them who was singing 6 - 8 numbers from the 70s and 80s. I was happy that I sang like this for the first time. Can I make this another hobby? Seriously thinking... will do some more shows like this and then take a call !!

My Favorites

Everyone in their life have something or the other as their favorites. I have heard people using the term "this is my favorite...." . I am not sure what they mean. Do they mean that they like only those which they consider "favorite" and nothing else?

I always feel that the moment we decide that something is "my favorite", I think the search ends and our creativity ends...

I always am a person who believe that there should not be any specific things in life which can be termed as "my favorites". By doing that we are limiting ourselves to one particular aspect of life and miss out all the fun on the otherside of life. Let us take music as an example. I have heard people saying that a particular song has been their favorite. Singers are often asked "which is your favorite song?". Arre..... it's quite difficult for Latha Mangeshkar to choose the favorite songs from what she has sung. Quite a lot of them have asked me, who is your favorite singer, music director, lyricist? How do I answer that question? I always ended up in confusion when such questions were asked. For me every music director, every singer, every lyricist have their own speciality.

Me thinks... the moment we decide something as our favorite, we tend to set it as a bench mark and start seeing everything through this "colored glass" called "favorite". If "my favorite" is Kishore Kumar, I tend to listen to every song of Rafi, Mukesh, Manna De, Talat Mahmood, Abhijit, Sonu Nigam, everyone with this "hearability" of "my favorite, which is not correct.

Of course, "my favorite" cannot be "your favorite". Then the fun is lost. Both of us are in the same zone and we are like the frogs in the well which do not know anything outside its boundary. We put a fencing to our thinking world by deciding on "my favorites".

It's time to think on this line..... Weekend is ahead. Is the "weekend your favorite time?"

Chaplin - The Satire King

Above photo courtesy : Jaisim Fountainhead. This is the residence of Kannada actor CR Simha. You can see chaplin sculpted on the pillar as a tribute to the great artiste

"I would prefer walking in the rain

so that no one can see my tears"

Must be sounding odd !!! But, that was the fact of life for Chaplin, who made people laugh all over the world under shadow of satire.

While people know him as king of comedy, Chaplin was actually the king of Satire. He used comedy as a tool to talk about the dark, stark, harsh realities of life. He communicated hunger, anguish, red-tapism, system failures in the society, all these things through comedy and sad part is that still people consider him as a comedian more than a sensitive artiste.

Today is Chaplin's birthday and just thought of putting across some thoughts.

From the wikipedia, I am taking an excerpt about his last days

Chaplin's robust health began to slowly fail in the late 1960s, after the completion of his final film A Countess from Hong Kong, and more rapidly after he received his Academy Award in 1972. By 1977 he could no longer communicate and was confined to a wheelchair. He died in his sleep in Vevey, Switzerland. He was interred in Corsier-Sur-Vevey Cemetery, Vaud, Switzerland. On 1 March 1978, his corpse was stolen by a small group of Swiss mechanics in an attempt to extort money from his family. The plot failed, the robbers were captured, and the corpse was recovered eleven weeks later near Lake Geneva. His body was reburied under two meters of concrete to prevent further attempts.

He was not allowed to sleep peacefully even below the ground...

Sunaad.....

A turning point in my life.......

2004 - I saw a call for singers in the yahoogroup culturecafe. Tara Kini, a musician and a trainer was the person who was my first contact at Sunaad, a group of singers who were aiming at promoting Hindustani classical music and reaching it to common people in a simpler and theatrical format. Aditi Upadhya and Tara Kini were the gurus for this team.

I was quite worried when I went to Aditi's house Abhiram in Malleshwara. Rehearsals were on for Bhaav Yaatra - a performance which has a blend of classical music and story telling and play which is based on Krishna's life interspersed with Meera Bai. I was dumb and shocked after listening to the entire team as they were at far higher standard from where I was. It was mind blowing rehearsal. Not sure how much I listened to their singing in my shock. After everyone left, I was asked by Tara and Aditi who sat opposite to me to sing a song. I was worried whether I will be thrown out after they listen to me. I sang one of the kannada song, which I composed some years back. I passed the exam. I started coming into the rehearsals for the show which was scheduled in Chowdaiah Memorial Hall. We had rehearsals in Aditi's house, Indira Bharadwaj's Rightlines Art Gallery, Nandini Kamat's house, Geetika's house, Chandavarkar's house.....

From then onwards, Sunaad changed my life forever. It gave an opportunity for me to get an insight into my life in a different way.

One of the rehearsals, Tara and Aditi sang their solo numbers which were part of the show. I was totally blown out... It was a different world for me.

Aditi used to explain how dhrupad singing is how the notes are and mentioning that dhrupads have notes which are gol gol... very rounded. Each note, Tara and Aditi explained the chalans and pakads (as my friend Shabnam Virmani tells, "the way we walk between the notes").

First show, with me sitting right in the front (may be because I was short :-)) and facing the audience, singing kaalia pe thaade aave mohan with Aditi and Ashok Dharbal, Revathi Upadhya singing Nahin Maane along with other singers, Kannika enacting the kaali mardhan, Shabnam narrating the story of Meera Bai and her ultra-pure devotion to Krishna, wav... an entirely dffferent world was created on stage.

Icing on the cake was when Aditi sang the meera bhajan. I just could not control my tears joy... I just cried after the show. You feel optimistic with these kind of things in a world where people are heavily into kiiling each other, harming each other and hurting each other.

Sunaad just purified my innerself and I am indebted to Tara and Aditi for being catalysts for this.

Dil Dhoondtha hai....

My search is on forever for something. What is this something? I am still trying to identify what it is. But it's true that I have been searching.....

Whenever I express something like this, people always tend to look at me as if "oye.... which planet are you from ??? "

What I realized is that searching is a never ending process. When we are children, we search for the adult in ourselves. when we are adults, we search for the edlers in our heart and when we are elders, we search the child in us.

It's quite strange that we search for something which may never exist in us.

I remember Gopalakrishna Adiga, one of the revolutionary poets of kannada literature, says ಇರುವುದೆಲ್ಲವ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇರದುದ ನೆನೆಗೆ ತುಡಿವುದೇ ಜೀವನ (Leaving out the existing ones, striving towards getting something which is not there, is life..) sorry this may not be the exact translation of the line, somethings always good in those languages)

So true. If we stop searching, we cease to exist. It's very important that we search something good which is there in others and not there in us so that we can work towards attaining that state of mind...

The musings never end.....

To keep up the hope.....

Everyday, I keep trying to say this to myself.....
Thanks to Manoj Kumar for that wonderful picturization of this song and thanks to Lakshmikanth and Pyarelal for this wonderful composition. This was sometime in early 70s and still so fresh.

Ek Pyaar ka nagma hai
Maujon ki ravaani hai
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi
Teri meri kahani hai

Kuch paa kar khona hai
Kuch kho kar paana hai
Jeevan ka matlab tho
aana aur jaana hai
Do pal ke jeevan mein
ek umr churaani hai
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi
Teri meri kahani hai

Tu Dhaar hai nadiya ki
Mein tera kinaara hoon
tu mera sahaara hai
mein tera sahaara hoon
aankhon mein samandar hai
aashaon ka paani hai
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi
Teri meri kahani hai

toofan ko aana hai
aakar chale jaana hai
baadal hai yeh kuch pal ka
chcha kar dhal jaana hai
parchaayi na reh jaati
reh jaati nishaani hai
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi
Teri meri kahani hai

The mind & It's world

Overall, life has been stretched out everywhere for me. Work, studies, friendship, theatre, music, relationships, fights, ego-clashes, emotions, darkness, emptiness, behaviors... so many things.

I am trying to see a ray of hope in everything either to stay or just get out. It's tough choice to get into this mode. But I am trying to be one like that.


Whenever I listen to Mukesh's song (actually it should be Raj Kapoor's song as it is more based on his life) Jaane kahan gaye woh din, and particularly a sequenc in the song, where Raj Kapoor just places the joker on to the ground and he looks helplessly at the joker, my eyes fills with tears. It talks about all the above things I mentioned.


Is it because of the fact that I have gone through alll those and got hit? May be yes.......
I was hit quite badly in those areas and till today, I wonder how I came out of all those things. Even today, there are people whom I know for sure are talking at my back and show off as if they are good friends to me. No, No, I am not cribbing. It's just like those underwater substances which keeps coming on to the shore and again goes back to the bottom of sea.

Weekend Picks......

It was a tight weekend.....

Thursday - My friend, Champa Shetty was felicitated and I felt happy that this girl achieved what she dreamt of. With the kind of challenges she had around 18 years back, it seemed that achieving whatever she thought would be impossible. But she made it possible. Of course, Prakash Shetty, her life partner stood with her through thick and thin of her life. It was highly impressive to see the documentary on her achievements and some of the clippings. Proud that I was associated with Champa & Prakash Shetty during their initial days of theatre.

Friday - it was one of the best performances from the team on stage. Even today, I still get excited at some of the dialogues, songs and the responses. People poured in at us after the show. I felt happy about the performance. Still there are lot of expectations

I was surprised to see the response for the 338th show of our play "Sattavara Neralu" at Rangashankara. Amazing that people still have lots of apetite for theatre and that too in Kannada. Rangashankara was full to the brim !!!

Saturday - Latha and Nagaraj, one of the most humble couple, myself and Bhargavi have ever met, invited us for a sumptous lunch at their home and in return, they "demanded" me singing Kora Kagaz, mere naina saawan bhadon !!! Their gesture was very touching and myself and Bhargavi did not have any words to explain their affection towards us. It's been a freindship for the last 18 years and again I got to know them through Champa. Very nice to see their daughter Tejaswini, who they call "chintu ". She is a high-energy & multi-talented, brilliant girl.

Again that day evening, we attended our architect Prathima's son's first year birthday. Again, Prathima and Prashanth, very affectionate people who remembered myself and Bhargavi not as their client, but as their friends.

Nice to experience these wonderful friendships

Sunday - Lot of studying for my exams. Able to finish the Ancient Inscriptions study in Kannada literature. Started on another topic on literary criticisms.

Monday blues still at full marathon in my mind....

Bhargavi and Deeksha are at Davangere for this entire week and my bachelor days are back for a week .. a total careless, freaky, mad and indesciplined life for a week. Still, will miss Bhargavi and Deeksha's presence...

Idhar... Udhar

Many things happening today......

I am seriously updating my skills in Excel 2007. Very interesting sessions happening

Evening, Champa Shetty, one of my friend who has been awarded a state award "Best Dubbing Artiste" is getting felicitated. Champa, who came into theatre through college theatre workshop, was a kind of desciple for me since I was part of the music section in the workshop she came in. This is about 1990. Since, then she has progressed a lot and worked in cinema, theatre and Television. Prakash Shetty who was her batchmate had hit from the cupid and they got married. Today, they are working in theatre together. Happy for them. So, I am going there.

Post that, I have my rehearsals for my play which is happening tomorrow at Rangashankara. This is 338th show of this play and for me it is 76th show. The rehearsals are exepected to go on till 10:30 PM

Weekend, unexpectedly a lunch has been fixed at a friend's place.

Too many subjects to study for my exams.

Overall hectic days ahead....

I for Eye

1. Teri chamakthi aankhon ke aage yeh sitaare kuch bhi nahin

2. In aankhon ki masti ke mastaane hazaaron hain


Again, I am starting this topic with the film songs.. of course, there is no one in this world who have described the eyes like our film folks have. Obviously, I need to take them.


I always had a fetishness for beautiful eyes. Be it, black, grey, blue, green, smoky, bright, sleepy, stretched, any form of eyes. It's the mirror of the soul and just reflects of what we think and what we talk.


It's is always a temptation for me to look deep into any one's eyes with whom I speak or even those who just pass by. Some of the eyes have been absolutely magic and some of them have created so much of depression that I could see the sea of pain in those eyes.

I still remember how I got into it. Sometime during 1988-89, I was a member for the Suchitra Film Society and was part of a panel discussion on parallel cinema. Aparna Sen, yester years' actress and also Director (also mother of actress Konkona Sen) was present for the discussion and I had an opportunity to sit next to her. Her eyes made the magic and I just drowned into it.

From that day onwards, I started developing fetishness for eyes. Till today, it's those beautiful eye which haunt me. I always wondered why it is that those eyes with kajal are more attractive.

Gulzar & Gulzar &.......

Khaali haath shaam aayi hai
Khaali laut jaayegi
aaja bhee na aaya koi
khaali laut jaayegi
-----------------------------------
Paani paani re khaare paani re
naino mein bhar jaa
Neendein khaali kar jaa
----------------------------------
Ek Door se aati hai
Paas aake palat thi hai
ek raah akeli jo rukthi hai na chalthi hai
yeh soch ke baiti hoon
ek raah tho woh hogi
tum tak jo pahunch thi hai
Is mod se jaate hai
------------------------------------
surmayee shaam is tharah aaye
saans lethe hai jis tharah saaye
------------------------------------
Ek akeli chhatri mein jab
aadhe aabhe bheeg rahe the
aadhe sooke aadhe bheege
sookha tho mein aayi thi
gila man shaayad bistar ke paas pada ho
woh bijwaa do
mera woh saaman lauta do

Haphazard Thoughts

At times, I seem to over expect some things from some people, without realizing the fact that they are not tailored for that kind of deliverables. Is it the same case from the other end as well ??

I am not able to understand what exactly I am supposed to focus on. In today's world, we need to have plans, strategies, blah, blah..... But that sounds so formal, so structured and so restricted.

We are loosing our capability to think and depend more on what's been written. Even for 10 + 2 + 8, we take the calculator and work out the answer. Because we believe that calculator is more intelligent than the brains which created them.

We do not seem to be going as per our instinct and as per what we think right.

There are lot of dependencies on the route maps, google earth, and what not. Earlier, this was never the case.

Is it because we are using technology as crutches instead of walking sticks? The technology seems to be limiting our capacity to think and is challenging our memory. C'mon, I do not remember the telephone numbers of my friends. Because, I store them in my phone and I just need to search by names. I think it's little too much. People argue that technology has made life more easier. I am not sure whether to agree this arguement. With all the examples above, is technology making our life more easier or is it making our brains, just another Vestigial organ?

Haphazard thoughts......

My blog - My thoughts...

Some of my friends have started saying "you and your blogs..... I think it's too much of focus on blogs !!! "

I always believed (at least since last month) that blog is a space where you can just pour out your anguishness, happiness, sadness, and all other ...ness !!!

I have started realizing that I feel more relieved whenever I post something and move out of the blog. I feel lighter.

Need to create some kind of readership for my blog. How do I do that? Thinking...

Payal - The Anklets

Driving will be more pleasure when I see the ankles of the people on other vehicles with those beautiful anklets. I always wondered what a beautiful creation those anklets are. It gives a lot of femininity to those ankles.

Bhargavi tells me that women go gaga over the anklets and the kinds of designs which are available in the market. It's mind blowing.

Those which are just single line anklets are the ones which I always adore. It will be just one line and a simple one but the look of the ankles and feet changes dramatically.

On the other hand, for small children, the anklets are put so that when they walk around, the parents can keep track of where they are. It looks so good for those plumpy legs !!!

How this concept started and where has it reached today? Very surprising who human beings can get inspired and to what extent !!!

Studies, My blog & Blank

Totally engrossed in the preparation for my exams in June. So, rest of the topics space is blank in my mind. I never studied like this even for my graduation. Had I studied like this, I would have been at least a second class fellow!!!

Last weekend has been totally on studies of the Epigraphy of Karnataka with the inscriptions from 5th Century and 9th Century. Very interesting reading... Wonder, why should we spoil such kind of studies with this climax of "Examinations" !!! That would pollute the whole thing....

Slowly people are catching up on my blog. That's setting an expectation on what and how I write. Yes. There are lots of topics on which I feel like writing. But still lots of them are in the germination stage in my mind. Should it be spontaneous and uncensored? I am still thinking.

On the professional front, life is dragging a little bit. Things are going smooth. So, in that sense, it is blank. Not many challenges...

Why we brood over it?

Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam
Tum rahe na tum hum rahe na hum

Beqarar dil is tarah mile
Jis tarah kabhi hum judaa na the
Tum bhi kho gaye hum bhi kho gaye
Ek raah par chal ke do kadam

Jaayenge kahaan Soochtha nahin
Chal pade magar raasta nahin
kya talash hai kuch pata nahi
Gum rahe ho tum khwab dum ba dum

People just come into your life just like that and walk away just like that. After their arrival and before their departure, some one else step in and make sure that they get what they want.

Just hearing the songs of Gurudutt.. This made me think all these. Such sad soul !!! Some say that he was into too much of self-pity (I remember my friend Shabnam Virmani felt that Guru Dutt was into too much of self-pity and brood over what's unnecessary). I also felt that's right. But still heart of heart not ready to accept it....

Will try to close the day with a happy note....

Mind Map

This sounds terribly confusing. How do I map my mind? How do I know what is really there inside my mind?

Today, while walking out for a cup of tea, I was watching a car on the road with lots of scratches on its body and some of them were covered up while some were left open.

Me thinks..... it's the same case with our mind. There will be lot of scratches in our mind due to "accidents" and some of them gets covered up while some of them just never covers up. It remains so open that time and again we feel the pain. That's something very strange as to what all things we can store in our mind and body, heart and soul !!!!

It's been couple of days since some of the scratches in my mind are surfacing again and some of them are bit on a higher note. It's quite tough to explain as to how it happened.

Anyway, trying to get some soothing medicine in the form of music and reading so that the scratches can subside... But may not be effective as music may deepen the scratches and I am trying my best to listen to the kind of music which can help on this....

Weekend approaching and lots to read....

Elections & Mud Slinging

One more mud slinging session is on. This time it is at national level.

Why is it that we have a situation where except dirty politicians, rest of the country thinks so negative about elections? Election is supposed to be a democratic process. But we seem to loose out our hope in democratic process where our decisions are the deciding factors.

Lot of effort is on in terms of creating awareness among people who have the habit of watching televisions for the sake of serials, cinema and reality shows. I am not sure whether this works. "Sachche ko chuno, Achche ko chuno" "Jaagore...." all sorts.

Just because, they faced trouble of terrorist attack now, Tata group suddenly had a "self enlightenment" about the politicians who are insensitive since their birth and wanted to use this for their business. In this wake of situation, started playing dirty trick of popularizing their tea brand in the name of Jaagore.com through TV. It's fine if Tata group mention that it is their CSR. What bullshit? If it's CSR, why do they want the tea cups to be rotated? This what Tatas have to say about Jaago re "The new communication attempts to migrate tea from being a physical and emotional revitaliser to becoming a catalyst for 'social awakening' with the message 'Har Subah Sirf Utho Mat, Jaago Re.' This establishes thought leadership for the brand to go along with its market leadership"

Do you need more proof?

Who made people think negative about elections? It's the people of India. It's easy to say that "no point in talking about politicians.. all are same. Be it Congress, BJP, JD (A,B,C,D, etc), CPI, CPM". But what are we doing? We think only the businessmen are good and all the politicians are bad. But who is supporting politicians? It's the buisness community which is supporting them through their party funds. What happens if the business community says no funding for any political party? This sounds like utopian world which is turning out to be Pseudo-world.

Every politician is a blessing for the motherland. At least that's what they boast about themselevs and apart from them rest are all corrupted, criminals.

Personally, I have been trying use the opportunity whenever I get a chance to meet the so called "Netas", to question them on the progress made in my area and how much close are they to the people who made them sit in that seat.....

Why don't you do it? Question them.

Saahir Ludhianvi

chalo ek baar phir se ajnabhi ban jaaye hum dono

Na mein tum se koi ummeed rakhoon dil nawaazi ki

Na tum mere taraf dekho galat andaaz nazron se

Na mere dil ki dhadkan ladkhadaaye meri baaton ne

na Zahir ho tumhari kashmakash ka raaz nazron se

chalo ek baar phir se ajnabhi ban jaaye hum dono

Tumhe bhi koi uljhan rok thi hai pesh kadmi se

mujhe bhi log kehte hai ke ye jalwe paraayein hain

Mere hamraah bhi rusvaaiyan hai mere maazi ki

Tumhari saath bhi guzri huyi raaton ke saaye hain

chalo ek baar phir se ajnabhi ban jaaye hum dono

Taaruf rog ho jaaye tho usko bhoolna bhethar

Taaluq bhoj ban jaaye tho usko thodna achcha

Woh afsaana jise anjaam thak lana na ho mumkin

usse ek khoobsurat mod dekar chodna achcha

chalo ek baar phir se ajnabhi ban jaaye hum dono

Do I need to say more.... ???? Kuch bhoole hue zakhm.....

Tu Kareem Tu Raheem

Pt. Dinkar Kaikini singing this song with Yogesh Samshi on the Tabla is an experience by itself. It's tough to explain what one feels when you hear his own composition.

Peera Phakeera sab japata nihaal
tu kareem tu raheem
Raama Raheema Yesu Krishna Tihaare
Naam aneka dinaranga pukare....

So relevant to this day.

Hello CPI, CPM, BJP, Congress, SP, BSP, JD (A,B, C, D.......) listen to this....

Mehdi Hasan

The man who gave ghazal singing a total different touch across the globe. The artiste who put Pakistan on the international map for ghazal rendition. The artiste who was an inspiration for Jagjit Singh, Hariharan, Rajendra Mehta, Parvez Mehdi and etal (Listen to Jagjit's some 70's number Apna gham bhool gaye, tere jafaa paane ko, he is absolutely Mehdi Hasan in style of singing).

Today, Mehdi Hasan, 82 years and at a hospital in Pakistan with severe health condition. Struggling for money.....

What's happening???? Not able to understand the human beings. No one seems to be connected to Mehdi bhai now. Sad, self-centred world !!