The Grown up Deeksha

Deeksha has grown up now and she is in her high school !!!! Time runs so fast..... :)

I still remember. It was June 15th, 1997.
When Deeksha was born, she weighed 2 kilos and 500 grams. She was born one month earlier than tha scheduled date. A couple of days later, she caught up with Jaundice (this is the case with quite a few newborn children nowadays). The doctor spoke to us and told that the intensity of Jaundice was bit high. In that context, we were asked to put Deeksha in the incubator with artificial yellow light. We used make Deeksha sleep one hour with her facing the light (did she get that instinct of facing the arclight on stage with this ?? :) ) and one hour in the ulta position where the light used to fall on her back. By this way, they wanted to activate the liver functioning. At this point of time, doctor told us that the jaundice level was at 8 (not sure what was the measuring unit). She said that if it reaches 12, then the blood transfusion has to be done. For this, everyday, they used to take her blood for testing. That got us into a bit of worry and confusion. Somehow, she was able to come out of Jaundice. At this point of time, doctor said that she was worried about the parity of lungs since Deeksha was born one month early. But, the lungs were normal.

Back home, we started seeing Deeksha slowly responding to the sounds, voices. We got a cradle done specially for her from Chennapattana, the place known for colorful wooden toys. We got a walker again made from Chennapattana for her. This was one of those colorful traditional triangular wooden walker with 3 wheels (that walker has already crossed 7 children !!! :))

Deeksha slowly started crawling around, trying to converse with us. We were finding it extremely difficult to understand what she was trying to say... :) One fine day, she started walking with support and we were quite happy about it.

Above all, she had a ear for music !!! We used to put music in the night before she went for sleep... surprisingly, even today, she has the habit of putting on the music and sleep !!

She was 6 years and she started developing the sense of rhythm. We observed that and decided to put her to learn dance. I wanted her to learn a different format of dance and hence put her under Vyjayanthi Kashi for Kuchipudi. Most children learn Bharatanatyam. But I wanted Kuchipudi as that was more story oriented and Abhinaya oriented. This had the combination of theatre, music and dance. Deeksha liked the form instantly. It was very nice to see her going through the learning sessions. She must have been around 3 feet and we got her a small uniform stitched for the dance class. It was very interesting to see her dancing to the rhythm.
In the school also, she started participating in the extra curriculums. Every dance event, every music event, till date, she is part of that in her school since her LKG days. From the time she was dancing with colorful umbrellas when she was in her 1st or 2nd standard, to now, where she performs her solos, it's been a wonderful journey for her. Academically also, she has been on A and A+ which I am not really bothered. What I believe is that the children have to grow in the external world and not in the world of bookish education.

She wants to do her fine arts or journalism when she completes her 10th standard. I want her to see the practical world more than the imaginary world which we all provide to our children. She do not want to become an engineer or a doctor as she do not like science and mathematics.

I still have kept the option open for her. I am not forcing her to do what I like (But, for sure, I have spoken to her about how studying fine arts or journalism would enrich her life and exepriences). She want to continue her dancing and she wants to be in the field of arts. There remains the target as of now... :) :)

What all happened !!!!

ok..ok... I am back again... But this time, for sure I will stay long and dump my thoughts everyday....

It's been very strange how things are changing in life....

• Daughter is already in 7th standard, she is 12 years old !!!
• My cousin's daughter is expecting a baby in few months.... that's going to make me a Thaatha.... :)
• All those folks who were kids in our marriage have grown up and have bought cars, houses, got married, and it's all in this 15 years.....

The only one thing which has not changed is the indescipline in me.... :)

But, life should change, I should change, people should change, world should change... and of course for good..... !!!

Friends and Facebook

It's been 11 days since I blogged...... Getting too much addicted to Face Book.... connected with 258 friends and out of whom I personally know at least 200 people. That's a nice way to connect to the outer world.

This reminds of me of all my friends who have been part of my life, who are still part of my life and who I suppose will be part of my life through the thick and thin of my life.

It's been my friends who have supported me in my life more than my relatives and I am quite honest about it. Since I grew up more outside the home rather inside, I had the opportunity of connecting with all sorts of friends. Friends, who are soft hearted, tough hearted, merciless, homely, friendly, cunning, horrible, intruding, selfish, ego-centric, actors, dancers, singers, painters, cameramen, producers, directors, instrumentalists, writers, poets, all sort... still all are my friends and each of them have been teachers to me....

Whenever I am in a particular situation, I remember my friends who would have gone through this or who are reasons for that.... that's the level of friendship I maintain and I am happy that my friends are like that.....

People who influenced my life - Hari Babu

Hari, as he was affectionately called by all of us is a person who came into my life influenced and just went off. I do not know where he is today. Some of my contacts says that he is in Kerala and is actively into politics. Well, that's nothing new for those who know Hari.

When I joined Equations, he was one of the persons with whom I really got to work very closely as Hari was an expert with the issues related to Coast (he is from Kozhikode, which is a town on the coast). It was the time when the Anti-Cogentrix movement was at its peak. There was a protest rally organized by the network in Mangalore. Hari and myself traveled to Managalore for taking part in the ralley. Hari introduced me to so many people in the coast and few of them I still remember. Yathish Bykampady, Natesh Ullal, Ranjan Guruvayanakere, Leo Saldanha, Dr. Ravindra Shanbhag, Dr. Sharatchandra from DANIDA, so many other people. I was amazed at the knowledge Hari had about the coast and the violations on the coast. He was prolific in the area of Coastal Regulation Zone (CRZ). No one could beat him in this subject. I kept on wondering as to how simple and down to earth a person can be. Hari spoke to me in length about the issues faced by the fishing community, the threat to the coastal environment, ecology on the coast, deep inside the sea. His knowledge was as huge as the ocean itself. I always dreamt of thinking like him and gaining knowledge like him. I cannot even imagine of reading like him. He used to read so much and it's a wonder that he had so many thought processes in his head.

Hari had a lean towards communist ideologies in Kerala. He was from Kozhikode and during his heydays has been part of so many movements in the state. He is an avid reader, he was into film making. He used to tell me about the film he jointly produced "Amma Ariyan".

More than anything, one thing which bonded both myself and Hari was the craze for hindi film music. I still remember, whenever we used to go traveling, he asks me to sing some Mukesh numbers and just gets emotional. The song "Humne Tujh ko pyaar kiya hai itna" sung by Mukesh became so popular for me only after Hari spoke to me in length about the intensity of that song and the love. Another song of Mukesh "o jaanewale ho sake tho laut ke aana" is one song which he just loved and today, whenever I listen to that song, I just remember him and the picture of Hari's eyes filled with tears comes in front of me. Such was the intensity with which Hari loved music. I never knew that a song can be loved so much. I learnt a lot from him. I learnt to listen more of malayalam songs because of Hari. He made me taste the kerala paratas in Thippasandra, he used to joke about Arvind Swamy's face in the song uyire uyire from the fillm Bombay, mentioning that the guy makes his face as if somebody is squeezing his bottom.... :) Such was the zeal of Hari.

Not sure where he is. Hope to meet him some day

Remembering People who influenced me in my life - KT Suresh

Few blogs from now on, you will see me writing about people who made a tremendous influence on my life and changed my life forever.

It was in January 1995 / 1996, I was introduced to Equations by Manjunath, an IES officer with Central Institute of Coastal Engineering for Fisheries where I was working as Admin Assitant to the Technical Consultants. Manju felt that I am sensitive enough to be part Equations, an NGO who were into research and documentation for tourism.

Well, I was venturing out into a new world and was not sure what my goal was. I had to meet Suresh, who was popular as KT among his friend's circle. This was supposed to be an interview. I finally met him. He had a broken leg and was plastered and I could see the art works all over the plaster of paris and maximum was from Dhanaraj, one of the artiste who was working with Equations. Suresh sat in the balcony of Equations office in Indiranagar behind Indiranagar Club sorrounded by plants and spoke to me. I blabbered all sorts of things which came to my mind. About theatre, my life thus far, etc. etc. Manju had told me that I should speak something about environment and so I did.

Suresh said... hmmmmm... ok ondu kelsa maadi.. send me a small write-up in Kannada on environment protection by fax. Let us see. During the discussion I came to know that one of their resources Yamuna left the job of coordinator for Karnataka area and they were looking for someone who is politically, culturally and also mentally sensitive person to work with them. Manju felt I can deliver what they were looking at. I wrote something about environment protection including something from Krishna's Bhagavadgita which goes like "Patram Pushpam Phalam Thoyam....." and very little I did know that I was sending it to the person who was a total Aethist !!!

After few days later, I got a call from Suresh, mentioning that I had been selected. I was thrilled that I am into something new where none my family members have ventured (that's the case till today !!!)

I went along with Bhargavi to collect my "offer letter" which mentioned I also will be part of internal policy related decisions .

On March 1st, First day, I go to Equations and I could not see Suresh or any other people whom I expected. Only Mr. Sundaram, who was managing Admin and Finance was there and when I asked about Suresh, he was hiding something from me. It was quite fishy.

A day later, Suresh met me and gave a shock of my life. Manju, who introduced me to Equations, committed Suicide because of some personal problems !!!! I could not control my tears...

From there on, Equations totally gave a new perspective in my life. I started seeing so many things which I had never seen in my own world. Suresh introduced me to all the colleagues there. Hari Babu (about whom I need write another piece), Shirley, Dhanaraj, Lakshman and Mr. Sundaram. It was a different world altogether where there were no gender discriminations, no hangups, no egos, no artificial lives, nothing... all so natural, so true and so clear. That was my impression about equations and I am happy that even today, it remains so.

I must tell about Suresh. One of the most interesting persons I have ever met in my life. I am not sure whether I am going to meet anyone who can be like him. Those days, a smoking Chimney with beard, Suresh never sounded like a boss to me. I was so much used to the boss-subordinate culture and it was a culture shock for me. I was surprised that can bosses be like this also??? He used to suddenly infuse kannada words during the discussions with me and whenever he was angry, I could see his nostrils exapand and his ears go tomato red.. always I used to read the article what I wrote in Kannada in front of him and he used to keep staring at me while I was reading the article.

Suresh changed me forever. He spoke to me about so many things in life which I never knew, they existed.

A great friend and a even more great human being, Suresh put me on to so many of his friends and few of them, I can never forget. Rose, Vish, Sreeni, Joy, Ganesh, Mirza Yawar Baig, et.al. More than anything he put me in the middle of this great gang through the mehfils which used to happen in Rose's house.

Suresh sensitized me about environment, forests, coasts (of course, Hari had a great influence on me aboout coasts as well), Adivasis, how to establish network, how to maintain it, what to write, what not to write, what to speak, what not to speak. Overall, Suresh put me into the world of NGOs of which I never knew anything. During our struggle against Taj hotels in Nagarahole, It was Suresh's support and guidance to me along with Susan Mathews (again this is another person about whom I will write), which helped us succeed.

Today, if I am anything good, a huge portion of the credit should go to Suresh. Because of him, I stopped using plastic covers, I never drank pepsi or coke, I started getting sensitive about people cutting trees, I started becoming eco-concious, I even tried making my home an eco-friendly one, and I can say that Suresh is the reason for it.

Today, Suresh sitting in Mumbai still inspires me and I am indebted to him and will always be. Thanks Suresh for making me a human being from being a total insensitive fellow.

Tansen - The Epitome of Music

Tansen's Tomb in Gwalior
Mia Tansen

The one and only name which stands out still after hundreds of years of Dhrupad Gaayki is Sangeet Saamrat Taansen. The moghul emperor Akbar just bowed down to this genius. Akbar had sent his army to the king Ramachandra Baghela to get Mia Tansen into his court. Tansen was granted the highest rank in the court of Akbar.

An anecdote - Some of the musicians who were jealous of Tansen, conspired and asked him to sing Raag Deepak so that the heat creates uncomfort for Tansen (After all, human beings !!) . All the lamps were lit with this raag and the heat in the atmosphere was too much to tolerate. Tansen asked his daughter to sing Raag Malhar and the impact was unbelievable !!! The atmosphere became cool. That was the power of Tansen.

Another incident - Akbar was praising Tansen and was saying, you sing so well, obviously your Guru must be really good. Tansen nodded his head in agreement. Akbar said, why don't we get your Guru Swami Haridas into our court and organize for a baithak? Tansen said, no point, he won't come. If you want to listen to his music, you need to go where he is. Akbar agreed to this with bit of uncomfort feeling. Mughal Badshah and going to someone's house to listen to music?? Well, They reached the hermitage of Haridas and they could hear Haridas singing. Akbar was about to get in, Tansen stopped him and told him that he do not like getting disturbed when he is singing. The Badshah stood outside the hermitage for couple of hours listening to Haridas's music and the king was in tears !!! He could not control his emotions after listening to his singing. Akbar told Tansen that he is nothing in front of his Guru. Akbar was curious to know the reason on how Guru Haridas's music is more sweeter and mellow than Tansen's music. Tansen answered "The reason is simple. I sing for you, whereas my Guru sings for the God"

Tansen was introduced to Sufi Saint Salim Chisti by Akbar. This widened the horizons of Tansen.

Tansen created many Raagas. Darbari Kanada, Mia ki Thodi, Mia Malhar were just the tip of the iceberg. We are really fortunate that Tansen lived in the same as we are living and he sang and composed so many compositions which till today are held in high esteem in the world of Hindusthani classical music.

Just a remembering all these as it is his 423rd Anniversary today.

Thanks to Sunaad for pushing all these thoughts in my mind.

Bhargavi

13 March, 1994 - I met Bhargavi for the first time.

08 December 1994 - Bhargavi steps into my life

Since then, she has been part and parcel of my life. She has offered her shoulder lot of my pains in my life and still going strong as rock. She was totally unaware of the eccentricities she would face by coming into my life. I must say that she needs one solid round applause for being with me. Till today, she is a person who speaks less and I think we at home, have taken advantage of it, which is not correct. She has been through thick and thin of my life's journey for last 14 years (is it 15 years?). Till today, Bhargavi has been the best friend to me. Strangely, lot of pain caused to her is because of me. Not sure how to be a good husband. I think I should try to be a good friend to her more than being a good husband.